But wow, there are some truly god-awful weapons. On rare occasions, I’ll read into a weapon that looks cool or could fit a niche and just think “Really? That made it into the game?” And that’s what this listing is all about. Our picks for the most bottom-of-the-barrel weapons that you should seriously never try.
10. Cleric’s Candlestick
Kicking us off is the candlestick – a sword/catalyst hybrid that sacrifices its heavy attacks to cast your selected sorcery. Yes, sorcery. Despite ‘cleric’ in the title, this is for intelligence. But that’s not why it’s bad. In fact, it’s actually pretty decent for the early-game! And then it falls off. Hard. Its spellbuff scalings are so bad that beyond just a few hours into the game you’re better off with the default sorcerer’s staff. How to get: Transposition with the soul of the deacons of the deep.
9. Mail Breaker
There’s a surprising amount of people who actually enjoy this weapon, but I just can’t wrap my head around that. The mail breaker is a dagger that plays a bit more like a longsword thanks to its large size, though is still good for critical hits. And that’s where the upsides end. With absolutely pitiful base damage and scalings that never breach C on any infusion, I cannot recommend ever using this thing. How to get: Looted from a corpse on the high wall, just before encountering Greirat.
8. Handmaid’s Dagger
The handmaid’s is quite a rare weapon, possessing extremely low stat requirements, and a unique passive that restores a tiny amount of FP per hit. Not that you’d ever hit anything with it. It has tiny range, awful base damage, and a slow, predictable weapon skill. But it doesn’t end there. Its scalings are complete trash, capping at D/D strength/dex, and it can’t be infused or buffed! How to get: Dropped by the jailer handmaids in the profaned capital.
7. Torch
A lot of weapons in DS3 ‘were never intended for use in battle’ but still end up being really good, such as the pickaxe. The torch is… not one of them. It has low base damage and practically no scalings at all, as well as no weapon skill. It’s not all bad, though. Because as a tool it has some uses. Namely removing leeches and occasionally hitting an enemy once to set them on fire and open them up to attack! But as a weapon? No. How to get: Sold by the shrine handmaid.
6. Sniper Crossbow
The sniper crossbow is likely the least-used range option in the entire game. And for good reason, as it’s painfully slow to fire and reload and does not have the damage to make up for that. All for one upside: range. But the hawk ring exists? For the cost of a single ring slot, you can use a faster, stronger, even longer-range option that’ll get you much further and be less frustrating and clunky. How to get: Looted from a corpse just before the dragons in Lothric castle.
5. Spotted Whip
I miss the spotted whip from DS2, back when poison was even slightly viable. Sadly, in this installment, we have this thing. Whips are usually not the best choice as-is. But when you’re using one of the slowest, easiest-to-dodge weapons in the game to apply the weakest, easiest-to-cure status in the game, you’re destined for failure. The amount of things wrong with this weapon could honestly be an article of its own. How to get: Summon Cuculus for the old demon king boss fight and have her survive. After this, it’s found where you free Cornyx in the undead settlement.
4. Your bare hands
I’m sure this one comes as no surprise, as there are many challenge runs revolving around using no weapons at all, resorting to punching foes to death. Needless to say, ‘challenge’ is an apt word here. As the damage of your fists paired with the point-blank range makes them a severely lacking choice. And outside of the bragging rights, there’s really no upside to them! At least they can parry? How to get: They’re on the ends of your arms.
3. Broken Straight Sword
Again, no shock here, but a literal snapped blade isn’t quite the most viable choice. And it doesn’t even have the novelty of punching. It’s honestly just… a little sad to use. It has understandably tiny range and damage befitting a snapped, blunted sword. But hey, you can infuse it! The scalings aren’t even that bad, so feel free to slot it into any of your builds. How to get: Found just after the Gundyr fight, and dropped by hollows on the high wall.
2. Darkmoon Longbow
So what could be worse than the last 2 entries? Behold, the darkmoon bow. Easily the worst ranged option in the entire game. This weapon’s damage is likely worse than the broken straight sword, even at +5. And its intelligence scaling means it’d be used on builds that… already have access to ranged sorceries? Of course, you could use moonlight arrows. But why spend 500 souls per shot when you could just use your infinite supply of spells? How to get: Transposition with the soul of Aldrich.
1. Soldering Iron
I’d say the soldering iron is the only weapon in the game that is 100% terrible. Like, completely unusable. Its passive of inflating equip load and weakening estus suggests PvP use, but the slow spear moveset paired with 90% of its damage being fire makes this a bad idea. Player armor tends to have high fire defense, and chances are you won’t be breaking through with this weapon’s absolutely garbage D/C scalings. It’s a shame to see such wasted potential. Because this weapon is genuinely interesting! It’s just… so bad. So bad. How to get: Dropped by jailers in Irithyll dungeon.
